ted-cruz-honorary-mexican

Former New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson declared that Ted Cruz isn’t a real Hispanic because of his political views. A prominent online Latino organization has declared Bill Richardson’s Hispanic license void, and unanimously declared Ted Cruz, formerly Cuban, an “Honorary Mexican” to certify his Hispanic status.

Yesterday, on Cinco de Mayo, I convened an emergency meeting of the MexyCommittee at SooperBlog secret headquarters to discuss and debate the issue, and what our official position might be. After many carne asada tacos, many more beers, and a few games of “hit the ping pong ball into the sombrero,” the MexyCommittee unanimously voted the following:

RESOLVED: That Bill Richardson is a pendejo and shouldn’t be telling Cubans they aren’t Hispanic on account of their political positions.

RESOLVED: That Bill Richardson, otherwise known as William Blaine Richardson III, shall hereby be stripped of his Hispanic license, and any and all benefits afforded to him as a Hispanic be immediately revoked.

RESOLVED: That Ted “proud Wacko Bird” Cruz’s reciting of Shakespeare and other various inspiring speeches during the “WorldWide Wrestling Filibuster” was bad-ass.

RESOLVED: That Ted “the Manic Hispanic” Cruz, formerly a Cuban, shall be awarded the status of “Honorary Mexican”, along with all the customary rights, responsibilities, and benefits, as listed below.

Unanimously approved by the MexyCommittee, this Cinco de Mayo, in the year of our Lord, Jesus Christ. Orale!!!

The sage MexyCommittee made their decision based on the incontrovertible fact that Ted Cruz melanin count puts him squarely in the “cappuccino” category of the Sooper Hispanic Skin Color Scale. 

HonMex-TED-CRUZ

For those gringos and gringuettes eager to earn their own “Honorary Mexican” certificate, read the official rules here.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/ronnie.may.1000 Ronnie May

    Richardson is a liberal POS who greased his fellow New Mexicans while he governed there. He has a restaurant in Phoenix that I always leave used chewing gum right in front of at the entrance there. Yes Billy, it is I. Oh, and your $25 chimichanga isn’t worth $3. Don’t eat there unless you don’t mind being robbed. He doesn’t have decent parking either (maybe 10 spaces) unless you want to park in the back by the smelly stinking dumpsters and a sleazy laundramat and beer dive. The place sucks. Now, quit talking trash about a new politition that will be better than you could ever dream of. He’s not like you. He’s not a morbid liar, he hasn’t ripped off his constituants, he’s a straight shooter and he’s not a coward that’s afraid to go face to face with people like you’ve always been.

  • Ed Wallis

    You have earned *extra salsa* for your splendid gesture, Soop!

  • http://twitter.com/Shambhala666 Shambhala666

    Que bien! The man deserves it.

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